NEWS from Home & BLATANT BDAY WISH LIST

Last night must have been one of the worst nights EVER since we got to Istanbul.

I was so upset I just bawled my eyes out non-stop. I feel depressed and frustrated, and cry everyday.

After an already depressing day, JF comes home and tells me that his dumbass company HR is giving us ANOTHER majorly raw deal. WTF?!??!? Have they not royally screwed us enough already?

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH CLEARASIL!!!!!! THESE F*****G problems keep popping up everyday like a bad pimple outbreak!!!

Sigh, so I start trawling the net for Singapore news to cheer myself up a bit.
I discovered that the Mr Brown and Mr Miyagi blogs are GREAT reads!! Funny, poignant and on the pulse with current affairs. (Ok call me SLOW, I was never into reading blogs before. But yes, I DO know that these two are hugely popular in Singapore blogsphere.)

Reading those blogs, I find out about the news I've been missing like:

Recently, the Prime Minister's son, 2nd LT Lee Hong Yi, stuck his neck out to expose a fellow national serviceman (possibly the son of another big shot) who went AWOL twice and unpunished.
Instead of consulting his immediate superior (as they are taught in the army), 2nd LT Lee directly emailed all the MINDEF big guns to complain about this. SUBSEQUENTLY, his email (which contained the indentity of the AWOL guy) leaked on to the Net, and there was a lot of chatter in local forums.

Interestingly, the identity of the AWOL soldier is protected throughout the whole episode, while the Prime Minister's son was publicly reprimanded by the SAF for "insubordination and not respecting the chain of command". Woah...that must have put the government spin doctors in a tizzy. Apparently as soon as the press got wind of it, all traces of discussion about the original email were deleted from forum threads.

From what I gather, the way the Singapore press covered this incident focused on the "insubordination" of the Prime Minister's son. Whereas, the real issue here is, why did a soldier go AWOL...twice...and was unpunished? Is it because of who, or rather, whose son he is? Why is his identity protected?

On a lighter note, Singapore blogsphere is also abuzz (or rather laughing it's ass off!!) at the on-going XIAXUE vs STEVEN LIM feud. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! It's made me laff SO HARD. Watch this and you'll see what I mean:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=riBS5cURFRI

Ok, now when I'm mad at anyone, I'll just scream "You are a BIG CHICKEN PIE!!" MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Here's another interesting blog nugget from Mr Miyagi:



Mr Miyagi writes:
"If you’ve ever wondered if Singapore was really such a hi-tech connected country with hi-tech connected people, wonder no further.

On the Emerald Hill Group’s website’s “Work for us” section, there are openings for ‘Cleaners’ to work at their various outlets on Emerald Hill. So confident are they that people who usually seek employment as cleaners would have internet access and have the nous to look up job openings online."


SOB SOB SOB!!!! It makes me miss Singapore even more. The damn Internet connection over here is SO DODGY, slow, and keeps dropping. Don't even talk about Wi-Fi. Yeah it's available, but it DOESN'T WORK. Most hotels here will proudly claim that they have Wi-Fi. But it DOESN'T BLOODY WORK! The signal strength is SO LOW that you can't even open a webpage.

So right now I'm using a cable stuck into my Mac. And guess what? The connection STILL drops. Not very funny when U are on a Skype phone call!

Anyway, to put my mind onto happier thoughts, here's what I want for my BIRTHDAY.
(Yah not shy one! I'm BLATANTLY putting the list here so U guys can SEND ME PRESSIES!! hahahah. Ask my brother to pick it up from U cos JF's colleague is coming over from Singapore in August)

1. A packet of SEA MONKEYS!!!!
(Mark and I had these as kids and I loved them. I was HEARTBROKEN when I found out that we can't get a dog here. :( The owner of the flat we hope to rent doesn't allow them.)

2. Bee Cheng Hiang CHILLI BAK KWA

3. CHILLI TAPIOCA (loads of it!)

4. A magic carpet to bring me home (Air tickets also welcome!)

5. DVDs of Heroes, Ugly Betty, Little Britain, Absolute Power

6. GOOD BOOKS TO READ!

7. Any other gorgeous, beautiful, smashingly lovely PRESSIES U want to send me!

MUAKS :)

GENIUS SANS LOGIC?

Your IQ Is 150

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Hey I never claimed to be logical! No wonder I once stupidly put 2 DVDs in the player AT THE SAME TIME and JAMMED the whole thing. DUH.

I'm usually swayed by passions....love it or hate it...vehemently! Hahaha this is so funny!
I'm just surprised that I can do Math. Usually, I'm pants at it!

Thanks for this Melissa!!! I MISS U!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYS!

Happy Birthday Hubby! Happy Birthday Wee Keong!

It just so happens that my best friend and hubby share the same birthday :)
Kismet, destiny, fluke, call it what U may, I'm blessed to have them both in my life :)



3 years ago,
on a breezy October night
little did I know
that my heart would be set alight
i met this froggy
who wasn't keen on doggies
but all that changed
when we fell in love
he's mad about me
and my sweet Bloss Bloss too
he's my love so true
who makes me smile when I'm blue
on his birthday today
i just want to say
I LOVE U MORE THAN CHOCOLATE & CHEESE!
hee hee....love u Munky!




a long time ago,
i was miss bossy boots
and you, a shy gawky nerd
yet somehow we became the best of friends
in 13 years we've seen each other through
thickening waistlines and thinning bank accounts
headaches and heartbreaks
endless plates of sushi, hair embellished dim sum and the art of the devil(!)
now that I'm miles away and missing you a lot
remember keong, we'll always have Bangkok!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY and may you strike the next big TOTO!

On Being Gay in Disneyland

“We should recognise many paths to success and many ways to be Singaporean. We must give people a second chance. Ours must be an open and inclusive Singapore……..We've got to support Singaporeans being spontaneous, being unconventional. We should not put obstacles in their way. We should help them to succeed. “

- Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, National Day Rally Speech, 2004.

Here I am in a foreign country thousands of miles away from home. Over the last 2 weeks, I felt really proud and lucky to be a Singaporean. I proudly tell people how everything's so darn efficient, fast, clean etc in Singapore compared to just about anywhere else on the planet. Everything looks good and runs well, like an expensive Swiss watch.

We have clean air, can drink water right from the tap, a very good public transport system, good roads, services are always accessible - mostly within walking distance, and we can enjoy meals in public without being subjected to someone else secondhand smoke. There's always a new cafe, bar or restaurant opening, lots going on in the evenings & weekends, beautiful parks and nature reserves where JF and I frequently go for walks. Efficient banks & medical services, in schools kids are given laptops to do their homework. There's free WI-FI practically everywhere.

IN SHORT, EVERYTHING WORKS.

THAT IS, IF you don't happen to fall outside the designated boundaries set by the powers that be.

In recent years, since we got our new Prime Minister Lee in 2004, he suggested that those boundaries may be expanded to become more "inclusive". Ok so we're building a giant casino, bars can now stay open all night and ex-cons have become the heroes of a TV and Print "Yellow Ribbon Campaign" encouraging the public to "give them a second chance."

Today I found out that a friend, a bright young university graduate, has been forced to resign from his (non-combat) job at the Ministry of Defence because they found out that he was gay. Earlier this year, there were also reports that a trainee teacher was also asked to resign because he was gay.

When I hear things like this, I am so ashamed to be Singaporean.

In his now famous WIRED article (1993), writer William Gibson describes Singapore as "Disneyland with a death penalty".

There is no slack in Singapore. Meaning if you are slow or different, there isn't a place for you. How far will "more inclusive" go? We can only hope for the best, and in our usual ant-like manner, pretend go about our merry way in the perfect little colony.

WHATEVER!

What a great attitude! HAHAH I love this! From now on, this shall be my answer to all the crap and shitty stuff I'm facing in Istanbul. WHATEVER! Speak to the hand! THANX WENDY!

Headscarves & stripper heels. Something's not right

The settling in pains are still continuing and in fact getting worse. I'm trying so hard to see the positive side of things, but I just don't see any upside. It just seems like one battle after another.

Maarten said something in his last comment which is so acurate......Usually when U move to a new place, you experience all the initial joy and excitement of discovery...THEN MUCH LATER, the culture shock and unpleasantness hits.

But this time for me in Istanbul, I felt NO initial joy or excitement. I still haven't found ONE SINGLE THING that I REALLY LIKE about this city. Sure, I'm experiencing new things, but not in a pleasant way!!!!!! Everyday I just wake up and think......"F***, LET'S JUST GET ON WITH IT."

I don't feel comfortable here. There's something about this place, the culture, the food that just doesn't sit right with me. Can't put my finger on it, it just doesn't feel right and I don't feel completely at ease. I don't feel threatened or endangered, but I'm not happy either.

Maybe it's because of what I call the "Turkish Paradox", that's how I think of it anyway. Lots of other writers have written about it, but here's my own impression. Turkey wants to be seen as a modern, cosmopolitan, secular nation, embracing diversity, civil liberties etc. That image seems quite right if you stroll down the Istikal Caddesi, the main high street in the modern Istanbul. Bright lights, cafes, book & music chain stores, the universal high street brands, coffee and burger chains, neo Goths, emo kids, students in low-slung denims and Converse, chain smoking, having a beer and chattering away.

At the same time, you realise that there's like 20 men to 1 woman on the street. (Where are all the women?) And that it's common to see girls wearing headscarves and fully covered from head to toe, arms, legs everything.

BUT

you suddenly realise that although they're covered, their clothes are super clingy (e.g. a tiny miniskirt over black leggings, a long-sleeved turtle neck under a tight camisole top and a headscarf) and they're wearing 4-inch platform wedges or stripper heels. WHAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THAT? I just don't get it. I thought that the whole point of the Muslim religion asking women to cover up is so that they don't "incite lustful thoughts in men." So I just don't understand 4-inch heels and tight clothes with headscarves!

The Lonely Planet Turkey guide sums it up this way:

"Modern Turks will assure you that theirs is a very cosmopolitan country, an impression that can just about be sustained if you stick to the main tourist areas. However when it comes to permanent inhabitants, the picture looks very different. The shortage of restaurants selling anything other than local and "daringly" European food SPEAKS VOLUMES FOR THIS LACK OF DIVERSITY."

Now, normally I'd say that travel guides tend to exaggerate and what they say should be taken with a pinch of salt. But that comment is BANG ON ACCURATE.

1. I hate the local food. I've been giving it a chance and trying different things but it still SUX.
(How's this for variety? 1 big modern food court in a big modern mall, 20 different food stalls....ALL SELLING THE EXACT SAME THINGS - kebaps, kofte, lemachun, pide... repeated again and again.) Cosmopolitan and diverse? I think NOT.


2. No matter where I go, I am assaulted at least once a day by the acrid pong of CIGARETTE SMOKE & B.O (ESPECIALLY evident in any enclosed space...which is just about everywhere.) So much so that I have taken to eating at weird times just to AVOID sitting near other people. E.g I figured that if I eat lunch at 3 or 4pm the food places will be EMPTIER, increasing my chances of sitting at a table far far away from other people.


3. The local ice cream is RUBBERY.
JF and I had a rude shock when we bought some Turkish ice cream on Sunday. It was so THICK & RUBBERY. You could drop it and it would bounce. NOT KIDDING. DITTO for the cheesecake. For the first time in my life, I took one lick of ice cream, one forkfull of cheesecake and left the rest untouched. Yes it was THAT AWFUL.

4. Finding and moving into a flat is a nightmare. Another rude shock - ALL THE FLATS FOR RENT here come TOTALLY EMPTY. And I mean EMPTY!!!!!
NOT EVEN ONE light (just wires hanging from the ceiling), NO CURTAIN RAILS or Curtains, No applicances, not even a stove, oven or washing machine or fridge, NO CLOSETS AT ALL, not even one chair or bedframe. NOTHING.
All the flats are like this, brand new flats or smelly old flats with paint peeling and warped doors, ALL HAVE NOTHING IN IT. NADA.
We just calculated that it will cost about 5000 EUROS just to get whichever flat we rent into LIVE-IN condition. Just BASIC stuff and no deco. What's more, applicances and furniture are twice the price here than in Singapore!!!!!
DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMIT.
I asked the relocation agent why the rental flats are all like this and she said it's because Turkish people are taboo about using other people's things. They don't even want used lights or curtain rails!
When they move into a rented place, they usually even RENOVATE IT. IMAGINE THAT!!!
Spending thousands of dollars renovating a place that is not even yours and you have to give it back someday.


5. IT IS A F****** DAMN DIFFICULT task JUST to get a SIM card WORKING in your mobile phone!!! ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
First of all, before I came, I did my research and read that the government requires all foreign mobiles to be registered AT THE AIRPORT upon arrival at Customs IN THE PASSPORT of the mobile phone owner if he/she wants to use it long term in Turkey. Original Proof of Purchase (i.e. purchase receipt of mobile phone) required. IF you don't do this, your phone gets cut off in 3 weeks. PAIN in the ASS but fine OK.
I emailed the relocation agent about it, she said no need. Old rule.

THEN when we got here I buy a Turkish Turkcell SIM card, put it into my phone and IT DOESN'T WORK. FlyingF******Fish! Ok nevermind. The relocation agent tries to help me and we run around looking for a Turkcell shop that can register foreign phone. When we FINALLY FIND one, we are told that the rules have changed AGAIN. The government NO LONGER ALLOWS foreign mobiles to be registered for use with foreign passports. AND U can only register a foreign mobile with a Turkish passport IF YOU PROVE that you travel overseas often.

In the bloody friggin end of it all, I had to buy a new TURKISH phone. Phones are so damn bloody expensive here, even more expensive than France and the UK. I got an older NOKIA model which doesn't even have Bluetooth and it was 270 YTL which is SGD$340!!!!!!! For an OLD MODEL!


SIGH. I hope that things will change for the better very soon and I will find some positive aspects of living here. Right now it just seems like an endless battle to get things done. Mummy shared something with me today when I was pouring out all my worries and frustrations over the phone. She said,"BELIEVE." JF's birthday is on Saturday and the Turkish elections are on Sunday. Hope all goes well. Where are my magic red ruby slippers? There's no place like home.

Welcome to IT'SDAMNBULL

It seems like an eternity since we left Changi Airport, when in fact it's just been 6 days. It has been A LOOOONNNNNG week for me here in Istanbul. It's been so trying.

Wanted to post this earlier, but the Internet connection in the hotel is terrible and sustains for about 1 minute. It's supposed to be wi-fi, but the connection drops all the time.

Apart from Mummy, Daddy, Mark n Wendy, Dor Ee, Mel & Sasha, Betty Ee, Zer & Leonard came to see us off.

Dor Ee was super duper sweet and made us 2 big boxes full of her famous walnut brownies for the 13-hour plane journey. (We had to stop for 1 hour in Dubai). We are still saving the last 2 browines today with immense gratitude and appreciation. Mainly because the Turkish food here SUX BIG TIME!!!!! It tastes NOTHING like the Turkish food in SG, UK or Australia. Will go into detail later.

I almost wanted to cry at the airport saying goodbye to everyone, especially Daddy, who looked so sad. Held back my tears because I knew it would distress him even more if I cried. Last minute before we went in, he hurriedly pressed his old rosary into my palm. Later I discovered that Mummy had also slipped something into my bag without me knowing - 3 little wallet-sized cards with cute pictures and phrases like "God is with you! Expect a Miracle". I like stuff like that...little notes etc. It makes me feel loved.

JF left for Paris on on Wednesday and I've been on my own, house hunting with the relocation agent. It's not been a walk in the park. There's enough material there for a whole other post, which I'll do later.

Here's what I've experienced & observed in Istanbul so far. If you are Turkish or love all things Turkish, U may want to stop reading here cos some of it may be offensive to Turks. (BTW apparently U can get thrown in jail here for insulting "Turkishness".....the govt here has taken its own Turkish citizens to court over this....writers, political cartoonists.)

1. I discovered that I really dislike Turkish food here. IT SUX. FYI it tastes nothing like Turkish food I've tasted in other countries, even UK where there are Kebab shops at every corner. The local food here consists mainly of:
- Dry and smelly meat. (I hate lamb & mutton...even the beef here has a bad smell) And that seems to be present in EVERY MEAT DISH
- Sour sauces on vegetables
- Flat bread

(No wonder Vim warned me. She and her hubby, both Muslims visited Turkey and they HATED the food here even though they really enjoy Turkish food in Singapore.)

In short, the food smells like it has B.O. NOT KIDDING. To my utter dismay, I had so-called seafood spaghetti at a cafe the other day and it smelt like B.O. SOUR LAMB to be exact. BLEAH. Maybe they cooked it in lamb fat.

2. Surprisingly, although Istanbul is right next to the sea (The Bosphorous, Sea of Marmaray etc) IT IS SO DAMN HARD TO FIND FRESH FISH. On every menu, everywhere, meat meat meat but no fish. The relocation agent even told me not to order fish if it's not a specialised FISH restaurant because high chance that the fish will be off.
This is a rude shock for me coming from Singapore where $3 can get U fresh sliced fish soup in every hawker centre or food court.

3. Have not seen any markets. Before coming here I thought there might be abundant fresh food markets bursting with fresh veggies, fruits, fish etc. Well, NADA, NONE so far. Just some sad looking minimarts.

4. Sad to say this but my nose has discovered that quite a number of people here have bad B.O. From the taxi driver who took us from the airport to hotel, to shopkeepers, to people squashed up against me in the METRO. I want to FAINT!!!!! It's probably not a hygeine issue because I read that Turkish people are fastidious about cleanliness. I think it's mainly because of the FOOD. If U eat B.O smelling food everyday at every meal, U can't help but smell bad.
TO ADD TO THE ALREADY BAD B.O, unfortunately a lot of guys here seem to favour OVERPOWERING COLOGNE. So imagine bad B.O mixed with strong perfume. CAN DIE.

5. Everyone here (Men, Women, Grannies, Hip Chicks, Teens) smokes smokes smokes, in aircon places, in food places, in the metro station, EVERY DAMN WHERE.
I think that will be a big problem if I'm pregnant here....all that second hand smoke!!


6. MAJOR MAJOR LANGUAGE PROBLEM. I don't speak Turkish, they don't speak English. As a tourist, it's fine and U can get away with one or 2 weeks of sign language and smiles. But TYRING TO SETTLE here is a nightmare. I went to check out home applicances yesterday and everything from the buttons to the the instruction manual is in Turkish.
Of course I will take Turkish lessons once we are settled, but it seems SO HARD. I don't know how to describe what it sounds like. It's not even like Arabic. JUST ROJAK.

7. You can't drink water from the tap. The Turks themselves don't even drink it or make ice from it.

8. Every place U go, from the metro station to shopping centres, there are security scanners (just like at the airport where U walk through a scanner and put your bag in the X-ray) It's a bit unnerving.....For me it's a constant reminder that I'M LIVING NEAR THE MIDDLE EAST. Ok technically that's not 100% correct because part of Istanbul is on the European continent. But still, this country is neighbours with Syria, Iran and Iraq. Not to mention all the unhappy Kurdish separatists.
On the plus side, people seem to be quite friendly and ready to help.

OK this post seems like one long RANT. But I'm feeling very alone, depressed, worried, anxious. JF is not even here.

I miss my family and my cuzzins.....and I miss Blossom so much. Coming home and seeing her happily wagging her tail and jumping up and down really cheers me up.

More house hunting today. Oh yah this seems silly, but it's kinda part of my happiness barometer.......the shoes and bags here are VERY UGLY and QUITE EXPENSIVE. Sigh. THAT'S Depressing. In France and UK they were expensive but at least they were beautiful and there was a wide range. Here, all the shops seem to have the same ugly shoes in the same colours. Even the most unfashionable auntie or tacky Ah Lian in Singapore won't be caught dead it them.

:(

The Cuzzins Nite Out @ Brewerkz

Went out with my lovely cuzzies on Wed nite to have a last send-off bash at Brewerkz, this restaurant that brews its own beer/ ale/ pilsner/ whathaveyou. I don't like beer, but they do great GIANT burgers there!

We took like a gazillion photos and asked Melissa aka MelSteph to be the official blogger for the nite. (Aiyah coz Zer n I are lazy old farts who are a bit jurassic about blogging. e.g I tried to get a tag board and it FAILED MISERABLY. Didn't appear. HELP!)

So read all about our nite of meaty malty madness HERE:

http://ricecaked.livejournal.com/

(Under the Jul 5th entry HUHHHH? WHAAAAT?)

Check out the Super Gross video of Nennerd and a piece of tissue paper. Bet it will make the You Tube Top 10 one day!

Pix courtesy of MelSteph


Doesn't Jeanette (bottom right pic) make a very convincing vampire? Attack those bangers girl!

In other breaking news today, I've added my friend HAL's blog to my Links. Do go read it and support him if you can - he has decided to run and has strarted to train for a CHARITY MARATHON in Florence, Italy this November. He is doing the marathon to raise money for the SAN FRANCISCO AIDS FOUNDATION.

I couldn't believe it at first...Hal? Run a marathon??? NO WAY! This is a man who loves food, shopping and comfort as much as I do! (We once polished off 32 plates of dum sum between the 2 of us.) His gym shoes were probably still sitting in his closet brand new with the tags still on.....since 1995.

SO WAY TO GO HAL! I'm so proud of you for doing this! I know U will succeed!

Recipe for the Perfect Chocolate Fondue

Step 1
Have a superlovely cousin-in-law like Zerline who brings the goodies AND prepares everything!


Step 2
Find out that you have to SHARE your marshmallows


Step 3
Dig in like there's no tomorrow. Nevermind if you drip on everyone else's fingers.


Step 4
Prove that you can out-eat the oldies!


Step 5
Treat your spouse to a nice anti-oxidant facial. If said spouse is hesitant, hold him down and get Betty Ee to help you!


Step 6
Model the latest skincare range - cheaper than Creme de la Mer and tastier too!


Step 7
Kiss your lovely wife who made this all possible...awwww...


Step 8
Flaunt your lustrous crop of nose hair, Bugs Bunny teeth and one big eye


OR

Prove that you can join the Russian Ballet


Step 9
Tag team with your sister and take your father hostage to trim his eyebrows with a menacingly big pair of shears


Step 10
Surround yourself with people you LURVE