Continually trying to express myself in French is very trying. Especially when it's a rather delicate matter and I need medical help! Male readers, you might want to stop reading now.
Sometimes after a prolonged period of stress, I get a yeast infection. I got it for the first time in my life last year and I thought I was going to die!! It's an UNBEARABLE itch which I can imagine in the 17th century, probably made those petticoated lassies go mad and jump off a bridge.
But after talking about it to some female friends and my gynae, I discovered its actually extremely common in females, even young girls. Surprisingly, it clears up very quickly (within 2 days) of taking the medicine my gynae gave me....Difflucan. Not exactly sure what brings it on, my gynae said it could be stress, illness, reaction to other medication, high blood sugar level, pregnancy, or "heatiness" which is what some TCM practitioners believe. In women, it occurs frequently before or after a period, due to the change in hormones. It's also aggravated by wearing tight clothing made of non-breatheable material such as synthetic underwear, tight jeans, damp swimsuits etc. and sometimes, scented products such as perfumed soaps, shower gel etc.
Well, I have it again now.
For those of you who don't know what a yeast infection is, it's basically an imbalance of good and bad bacteria in your body which allows yeast to grow. (So you better listen to your mother and drink up your daily Yakult! Or eat yoghurt. It's full of good bacteria) Some people get it in their mouth, but most women get it down there. Yes down there! So you can imagine the difficulty I had trying to explain to a French pharmacist that I need medication for my problem.
(Ent. Scene)
Dawn walks into a French Pharmacy
French Pharmacienne: Bonjour madame.
Dawn: Bonjour. J'ai une probleme feminin. (Translation: I have a female problem(??!!!!! now how lame does that sound?)
French Pharmacienne: (who looks like she's about to laugh) Quelle probleme madame?
Dawn: Je besoin medicine pour ca (Translation: I need medicine for this) (points DOWN THERE and makes numerous hand gestures and facial expressions to indicate extreme itchiness and discomfort)
French Pharmacienne: ?????????? (looks puzzled and trying to stifle her laughter)
Dawn: (in pidgin French) Avant mon gynecologue donner moi le medecine Difflucan. Maintenent, j'ai le meme probleme. Alors, c'est possible pour prend ca? (Translation: My gynae gave me Difflucan before for my problem, can I get the same now?)
French Pharmacienne (giggling) blabbers on about how I need a prescription and I need to see docteur for that. She suggests that I try a numerous variety of "produit intime".
Dawn: Ah d'accord, merci.
(Scuttles out of pharmacy looking dead embarrased and still itching like crazy)
Anyways, to my utter embarassment, I told my mother-in-law about it and asked her to get a prescription for me from her docteur.
(Due to some stupid HR administrative incompetency, I am not yet covered under JF's insurance, so I can't see a doc here. Well I can, but it will cost an arm and a leg. Of course we didn't discover this until after we left Singapore, and it's too late for me to arrange for my own insurance coverage. I asked my agent and he said the policy has to be effected BEFORE I leave the country. And my existing medical insurance doesn't cover me overseas or visits to the doctor for that matter, just hospitalisation.)
On the up side of things, I finally found a supermarket near the apartment, a bread shop, a cobbler and a place that does alteration of clothes. I guess those are my "little victories" and I feel rather happy that I found them all by myself.
Although I did get a MAJOR SHOCK at the cost of alteration. I wanted to shorten the hem of my skirt by about 5 inches. The shop that I bought the skirt from said it did free alterations, but couldn't do it for me cos my skirt had 2 layers. So I walked about and found a tailor. GUESS WHAT? Just shortening the hem cost 20 EUROS! That's the cost of the skirt itself! That's SGD$40!!! The tailor near my house in Singapore charges $5 for the same job.
Sigh. No choice lah, have to do what.
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Here in the USA there are actual advertisements on the television about yeast infections, believe it or not, so us male readers (though I was again accused of being a female yesterday, when I said I used desert sand and cactus oil to get rid of dead cells and make my skin nice and soft and smell good) can't really avoid knowledge about this particular phenomena. Of course, I have not experienced it first hand, I only see the women in the advertisements being rather pained (of course, it also shows a product, and happy women afterwards).
It took me a while (25 seconds) to figure out that TCM doesn't mean Turner Classic Movies (which only cures only small but important number of diseases), but Traditional Chinese Medicine. I like the sound of "heatiness" though.
I am not certain whether eating the bacteria in yoghurt actually helps the bacteria outside of your body. As far as I know they just go to your bowels and stay there, happily digesting food for you and aiding in the breakdown of lactose, which is useful for lactose intolerant people (why these would eat yoghurt in the first place is a mystery to me, but well).
It's interesting to note that you were the one feeling embarrassed, whereas it should actually be the pharmacienne that should feel embarrassed about her inability to help you. However, I think this is typical, because I have been in similar situations where I felt embarrassed, even though logically it should've been the other way around.
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