SNEAK PEAK!

Here's a sneak peek from our wedding pix. That's the ACTUAL sign JF used to propose to me :) Hehehehe :)

Not that I've had much else on my brain lately besides the wedding, but I was just discussing this with JF a few days ago.
I watched the film Little Children a few weeks ago, and Wee Keong is working on a play called The Swimming Instructor. All this reminds me of an experience in my life.

I told JF that I really do believe that at least 80% of all children may have been molested at one point in their lives.....whether they know it or not, or whether they realise it only years after it happened.

OK, I hear U screeching "WHAT?? NO WAY!" But scarily enough, I DO believe that it occurs more frequently than we think. Because it happened to me when I was 9 or 10. It was my swimming instructor.

And I didn't realise what was happening at the time, or what it was even called. It just felt weird. I only realised what happened years later when I was in my teens, and became aware that there's such a thing called "molestation."

I was taking swimming lessons with my brother Mark (He was 7 or 8) at Paya Lebar Swimming Pool. And we had this male swimming instructor. I can't remember his name, but what I remember was this awful strong chlorine smell that clung to him and he always wore red shorts. I think he was one of the lifeguards at the pool.

Anyway, I remember most times he stood behind me in the pool and held my arms up with his hands to teach me the proper swimming stroke techniques. Most of the time it just me alone in one corner of the big pool (cos Mark would be in the shallow pool). Then sometimes this guy would touch and squeeze my (non-existent!) chest and between my legs. I felt very strange but didn't want to tell anybody cos I didn't know what was going on. I also felt weird cos my swimsuit was a bit old and threadbare....still remember it was a green one with purple swirls.

It was only when I was in Sec 1 (when I was 13) that I realised that my swimming instructor had molested me.
Because Sec 1 was when my friends and I started reading about sex. (Remember Judy Blume? Harlequin Romance? Sweet Valley High?....thinking back on it, it was SO FUNNY how we all hid those books from our parents!)

It was only then that I realised that my swimming instructor did something WRONG. I didn't, and don't feel dirty or ashamed or scarred or anything dramatic like that. But just that I can't believe it happened! This got me wondering if anyone else I knew had a similar experience.

And over the years, by talking to my friends and different people I met, I found out that both males AND females had been molested when they were kids. Sometimes by strangers and sometimes by people they knew and saw often. What surprised me the most is HOW COMMON it is and frequently it occurs! Ask some of your friends, relatives, people you know....you too might find it's happened to them. Or even to you.

I don't think my life has changed or has been affected by it. And NO I don't see the need to go all Oprah about it and start a support group or anything. Maybe because I DIDN'T REALISE what it was when it was actually happening. It just makes me believe that it happens A LOT, but kids being kids, just don't know how to say it or tell. So the problem goes on undetected.

What can we do as adults? No, don't suddenly be all "kiasee" and go on a witchhunt for paedophiles.
But be AWARE. Much more aware. And have the COURAGE to stop it if you see it or know it's happening.
Even if it's not a kid you know.